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No single solution can deliver peace and happiness for everyone - you have to find out what works best for you. At the very least you’ll learn something about yourself along the way. Cat Brown investigates the best online self-help resources. |
How did you feel when you looked in the mirror this morning? Were you staring at a person you like? Did you feel satisfied, complete and filled with the sense that you are achieving everything you can achieve in this life? Did you feel at the peak of your potential?
If you didn’t, it’s not a problem. Why? Because this month we’ve uncovered the best places on the Web for you to find the information and support you need to help become the person you’ve always wanted to be and achieve those dreams you’ve had since you were a child. At the very least, these online resources will help you find out a little more about what makes you and the people around you tick.
 Nothing New Under The Sun
The global self-improvement industry is big business. It’s now worth more than $US11.8 billion. There is a plethora of books, audio recordings, seminars, courses and experts available to help you change for the better – usually while they line their pocket in the process. However, humankind’s desire to develop mentally, spiritually and emotionally is nothing new. Ancient Greece’s Hesiod is often cited as being the first person to write a self-help guide in the form of his poem Works and Days. In this 800-verse masterpiece from 700BC he identifies what he believes to be the best way of life for his wayward brother, Perses. You can read it at www.sacred-texts.com/cla/hesiod/works.htm
So, with a history spanning thousands of years and with billions of dollars worth of modern resources around the world all geared toward helping people be the best that they can be, it’s no surprise that Web is a treasure trove of information to help you grow into your best self.
Are You Ready For Change?
“Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” -
Simone De Beauvoir
Mid-life crisis? Hate your job? Bad relationship? Feeling lost – or simply feeling unsatisfied with your life? There are many things that give you that unmistakable internal signal that you’re ready for some kind of change. On the other hand, perhaps you’re feeling a little apathetic, as if change could be good, but it seems like too much of an effort, or perhaps a little too scary to attempt. If you're looking for motivation to change your life, the World Wide Web has many inspiring sites to get you in the mood for transformation.
The Online Education Database has a page (tinyurl.com/2abo2u) offering 77 tips for preparing to embark on the journey of change and self-improvement. The psychology of change is discussed in About.com Psychology section at tinyurl.com/2fqqse It describes the stages that you go through on your journey of change and explains the best way to actually keep your New Year’s resolutions. Pertinent Information’s article about ‘Gut instinct’ (tinyurl.com/2k9heh) by expert Kare Anderson is also worth taking the time to read. Or perhaps the incentive you need is finding out what others have achieved at your age. Be motivated and inspired by the achievements of others at www.museumofconceptualart.com/accomplished
Personality Testing
For any kind of change to be successful, you need to have a clear idea of where you’re going. But it’s also good to have a clear idea of where you’re coming from and uncovering exactly what kind of person you are.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is one of the all-time classic personality tests and was developed by mother-daughter team Katherine Briggs and Isabella Briggs-Myers. The test was initially based on Carl Jung’s 1921 publication Psychological Types and was developed during the course of both women’s lifetimes. Today it is one of the most respected personality tests in the world with a proven 75% retest level of accuracy.
You can take a version of the MBTI test online at tinyurl.com/4ht Once you have taken the test and uncovered your own specific personality type (there are 16), there are many sites that will give you a detailed analysis of strengths, weaknesses, likely career paths and other practical applications of your reading. Type Logic (typelogic.com), Myers Briggs (tinyurl.com/yojaj6) and The Personality Page (tinyurl.com/3a6st) are three of the better analysis sites we came across. Another excellent personality test site can be found on Similar Minds (similarminds.com/personality_tests.html). It contains over 100 different personality tests.
The Benefits of Goal Setting
“You don't have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.” - Edmund Hillary
You may have seen a very special online video doing the rounds recently. In fact, at last count, over six million people have watched this inspirational footage. It’s called The Last Lecture and was delivered by American virtual reality lecturer Randy Pausch late last year. At the time, Pausch worked at a Pennsylvania’s prestigious Carnegie Mellon University, where a lecture series with a slightly morbid premise was underway. Each lecturer had to imagine they were about to die and spend an hour giving their ‘last lecture’ - the essence of their lifetime’s wisdom - to the student audience.
However, when 47-year-old, father of three Pausch stepped up to the lectern on 18 September 2007, the premise was a little close to the bone. He had just been given 12 weeks to live due to quickly advancing pancreatic cancer and this actually was the last lecture he would be giving at the university.
To a packed auditorium Pausch shared that as a young boy he had written down a list of the things he dreamed he would achieve during his lifetime, from being ‘the person who wins the giant toys at the fair’ to designing a ride for Disneyland. During his lecture he talked through his list and how he had achieved each one, and finally went on to talk about how - as an adult - he had realised that his real success had come through helping other people achieve their own dreams.
Pausch believes the most important thing in life is setting and meeting goals, with a real focus on helping others. Perhaps his tenacity for goal setting is what has kept him alive already four months and counting past his lifetime limit.
For a shot of inspiration, you can view Randy Pausch’s last lecture at tinyurl.com/24x7b6 A week later Pausch was invited to the University of Virginia to deliver a lecture on time management – his real ‘last lecture’. You can view it at tinyurl.com/ys77ek And if after watching these you are interested in tracking Pausch’s health, you can do so at tinyurl.com/2pkpjk
Write Down Your Goals
An excellent source of information to get you started on writing and sticking to your life goals can be found on the Mind Tools site at www.mindtools.com/page6.html This site you also gives you the option of paying $US27 for the Life Plan Workbook, but this is unnecessary as there is excellent free information on the site, which should do the trick if you’re just starting out and need some direction and guidance.
A popular social networking site for people who want to write, track and share their goals – perhaps as a form of positive peer pressure – is 43 Things (www.43things.com ). With the catchphrase “Discover what's important, make it happen, share your progress”, this site allows you to list up to 43 things you want to achieve and helps you not only keep tabs on how you’re doing, but lets you see who else has the same goals as you and how they’re progressing too.
Other goal-writing tips can be found at www.success77.com and the aptly-named www.make-your-goals-happen.com
 A Helping Hand
Sometimes it’s just hard to get motivated. Perhaps it all seems overwhelming or you just don’t know where to start. That’s when you need to find someone who can help. The Web is home to many life-improvement specialists who provide products and services at a premium. However, if you’re clever, you can find sites which offer a lot of free resources and allow you to take advantage of the expertise of these specialists without having to outlay any cash. Here are some we recommend.
Maxwell Maltz MD is the old-school master of changing yourself for the better and author of 1960s breakthrough book Psycho-cybernetics (a great read and not nearly as scary as it sounds). Truth be told, Dr Maltz will not be mentoring you, as he died in 1975, but his site has lots of inspirational information and you can sign up to regular emails that will put you on the track to success (www.psycho-cybernetics.com/about.html). Stephen Covey is one of Time magazine’s 25 most influential people in America. He is well-respected in self improvement circles and his site (www.stephencovey.com ) is home to his online community, where you’ll feel right at home on your way to a better state of mind..
Awaken that giant within! You might remember Anthony Robbins from television commercials. He was the overweight no-hoper who made good and went on to tell everyone else how to do it too. His overly–enthusiastic delivery might get on your nerves, but his message is undeniably motivating. Get pumped up now with the free content on his site (www.tonyrobbins.com).
Another big-hitter in the self-mastery arena is Brian Tracy. His online presence is very American-centric, but still contains an excellent array of free resources (www.briantracy.com).
Other, lesser-known but very valuable online mentors are Steve Pavlina (www.stevepavlina.com), Robin Sharma (www.robinsharma.com) and Ryan Whiteside (tinyurl.com/yo2eu8).
Life Coaches
Over the last few decades a relatively new specialty in the self-improvement domain has emerged: life-coaching. Life coaches are like the personal trainers of the self-improvement world. They use strands of psychology, sociology, mentoring, positive adult development, career advice and counselling to help their clients reach their own personal life ambitions via goal-setting, behaviour modification and other techniques. Life coaches generally work one-on-one with clients, encouraging and coaching them to find their own solutions to issues which may have held them back from achieving what they’ve wanted to in the past, while finding ways to accomplish the goals they have set for themselves.
Some top-quality life-coaching tools and resources can be found online at www.ilifecoach.com They give advice on everything from relationships to careers and loneliness. Sarina Nicole’s life-coaching blog (tinyurl.com/299yqw) contains many podcasts where you can hear her discussing subjects such as “Living your life with passion”. However, we were a little concerned that she also lists amongst her skills “Professional Tarot Consultant”.
Breaking Bad Habits
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle
Some of us have a mountain of bad habits built up over a lifetime that we need to break. But just how do we go about changing patterns that are deeply ingrained in our psyche? First of all we need to realise that it’s our habits that create our future.
Habitual thoughts create habitual words and actions, which create habitual situations. So, if you sometimes feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, in that ‘I’ve been here before’ or ‘why is this always happening to me (insert bad job, bad relationship, money problems, etc, here)’ way, then you might want to examine your habits.
Most psychologists agree that it takes around 21-30 days of constant repetition to remove an old habit and ingrain a new one into our general way of thinking and behaving. However, there are other steps we can take to help this process.
It’s widely accepted in the self-help field that there are five steps to creating a new habit: 1. Identify the habit you would like to change or create. 2. Identify your motivation. 3. Ask yourself what specific things you wish to gain by changing this habit. 4. Examine the consequences of not changing. 5. Commit to your new habit for a minimum of 21 days.
 There are many sites that can assist you to create great habits (and get rid of lousy ones). We liked Zen Habit’s 20 motivational techniques for changing habits (tinyurl.com/39qdd2). Becoming aware of your habits is the first step to changing them and the story at tinyurl.com/35nxtj shows you how achieve this awareness. Once you know what you need to change, beating procrastination can be a battle in itself. Litemind has a great page (tinyurl.com/2tu297) taking you through methods to change how you think and speak about a change you need to undertake. Next see tinyurl.com/2azb7v for good advice about planning the process of change.
Above all, remember that positive change can be a slow process. It might not seem like your life is noticeably improving, but one day you’ll realise that all the small improvements you’ve made over time add up to a happier and more peaceful you. And surely, that’s an outcome worth chasing.
Hassle Your Way To Success
An excellent tool to keep you on track to meet your goals – both in life improvement and more mundane tasks (eg: calling your mum or picking up the drycleaning) - is a dinky little site from the UK called Hassle Me (www.hassleme.co.uk). It works by allowing you to input your goals and when you want to achieve them by. You then let the system nag you at irregular intervals until you get your jobs done.
Optimism
Research shows optimistic people live longer, happier and more rewarding lives. Confirming that you’re an optimistic person or learning how to become one is a good place to kick-start improvements in your life. There are many places online to help.
Marty Seligman is the creator of a new branch of psychology called Positive Psychology. It focuses on the empirical study of positive emotions, strengths-based character and healthy institutions. Dr Seligman has written a number of ground-breaking books on this topic, including Authentic Happiness and Learned Optimism, the latter making use of mainly Cognitive Behavioural Therapy tools to teach the reader how to become more optimistic and therefore have a better, healthier and more contented life. His Web site (www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu) is the conduit whereby he conducts much of his academic research – and the pay-off for you is that you can partake in any one of his many online quality tests to discover such things as your signature strengths, optimism scale, current and enduring happiness. The site is also filled with excellent and well-tested resources to help users improve their lives and become happier people.
You may also be interested in Dr Tim Sharp’s Happiness Institute (www.thehappinessinstitute.com) and Alex Shalman’s Happiness Project (www.alexshalman.com/blog/happiness-project).
Alternative Self-help Resources
We can’t guarantee the following approaches to changing your life will appeal to you. Maybe you’ll find them too geeky, too New Age or too quasi-spiritual, but just maybe they’ll hit the mark perfectly.
 www.thesecret.tv - Harnessing the laws of attraction.
www.whatthebleep.com - Quantum Physics, spirituality, neurology and evolutionary thought.
www.hayhouseradio.com - Radio for the soul.
www.learnmindpower.com - Create your reality with the power of your mind.
More Self-help Resources
Ted.com - Video recordings of speeches by the world’s great thinkers.
tinyurl.com/2bxktg – The setbacks faced by humanity’s greatest achievers
tinyurl.com/pku4k - How to identify what you love to do.
toolstolife.com – A personal development community where you get support and feedback from other members.
tinyurl.com/ypt7zm – Discusses the concept of ‘Self-Efficacy’ and the role it plays in your success and happiness.
tinyurl.com/25wfeb - Dozens of self-improvement articles by many writers.
tinyurl.com/ynlshl - A list of highly recommended podcasts, audio books and traditional books.
tinyurl.com/yshbca - 10 pieces of software to aid your quest for self-improvement – not all of them free.
mindmedia.com – A ‘life-enhancement network’.
www.positivementality.com/newsletter.html - Subscribe to a free monthly self-improvement newsletter.
www.selflive.com - Updated daily with everything from financial success tips to ideas for sparking your creativity.
www.pickthebrain.com – Online community focused on personal productivity, motivation, positive psychology and self-education.
www.selfhelpexpress.com – Free 30-day trial of premium techniques to fast-track your personal development.
successelixir.net - Dealing with fears and stress.
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